Honey Water
by Shihara-San Fukurou-Kun
Summary: A self insert born into Kiri in the generation of Zabuza. Her father is Orochimaru! The story will involve the seven swords men and their apprentices. Features child Zabuza in the same class as she. A detailed, beautiful story on the life of those of the bloody mist. Please don't be discouraged by chips 1 n 2 those are semi crack. It gets better at chp 3.
1. Chapter 1

This is a self insert OC, whose father is Orochimaru. This chapter and maybe the next will be the only ones with the sannin.

I was kind of playing with Orochimaru's character here. Don't take it too seriously and everything is still canon in away.

* * *

Mukashi, mukashi.

In the time before the Legendary Three Nins of Konoha were known by that honorary title.

Before Team Hiruzen had a chance to crumble completely, the three, together had entered the Second Shinobi World War ready to take on almost anything. They weren't necessarily weak to the ways of Ninja but it was a time when they were still young and a little naive.

Jiraiya had finally came back to Konoha after his time of wandering the lands when Tsunade had lost her cherished younger brother, Nawaki, and was still reeling in grief.

Orochimaru was not yet the cruel and disillusioned monster that we have all come to know.

Instead he was but a youth with the responsibility of the death of a comrade fresh under his belt. The distant and slow gnawing mixture of grief and guilt that Orochimaru never knew he could feel.

When it was just beginning to reveal itself to Orochimaru, that fragility and mortality of human life...

Something unexpected showed up in Orochimaru's life, even if it was but for a short while:

 _Children._

* * *

Orochimaru was chilling in his deep and dark secret Lab underneath Konoha when he found out that he was the proud, new father of two bundles of jo-

Just kidding!

Orochimaru is 24 in this chapter and all of his labs are sanctioned by Konoha and he has not yet sunk into that deep abyss~

But if he wasn't in there than where was he?

* * *

Team Hiruzen had chosen to whittle away their time between deployments not in the relative safety of Konoha but in some unnamed town (since the author forgot its name) that the trio had frequented in their youth in between missions.

It was a village that flourished on tourism, and there was even a castle in the middle of town. But it was not for this that the three had come seeking refuge. It was the much seedier and shady parts of town that the trio had come seeking old comforts.

Gambling. It was something Tsunade knew and practiced since she was but a toddler taught to her by the First Hokage himself.

It was nothing more than a vice, a way to pass the time, cheap and quick, but it was now used more like a defense mechanism than anything else. Something to keep the nightmares at bay. To keep a sense of control in her life in a time where war raged not only the shinobi world but also their lives. Nawaki hadn't been just another statistic to them.

It just so happened that this time-between-deployment was longer than the ones before it. It went without being said that it was to allow Tsunade time to grieve and Orochimaru time to come to terms with his failure, and perhaps learn from it. And it might have a secondary reason in Jiraiya's low-key information gathering/undercover work that went hand-in-hand with Orochimaru's info drop-offs.

Thus that was the reason that Tsunade was here in this city instead of Konoha or the front lines. She was seeking a refuge away from pitying eyes, where she could just gamble away her sorrows. Where no one would know who she was except maybe for her most trusted comrades. Not that she would admit that.

Right now, all she did was angst about Jiraiya and his perverted ass; and Orochimaru and his creepy personality.

And Jiraiya had come along to make sure that Tsunade wasn't after Nawaki's death. He didn't know the kid personally in the way Tsunade or Orochimaru did, because he had been gone for the past few years... the last time he had seen the kid was back when Tsunade's bust wasn't as big and Nawaki was barel-

Orochimaru had felt a little left out and not wanting to be left alone twiddling his thumbs in his lab back in Konoha, he had of course followed the two to this run down hole in the shit.

Even if that meant twiddling his thumbs, all alone, in the make shift lab -slash- seedy hole in the wall hotel room of his.

* * *

Orochimaru knew from experience that his two teammates were light weights when it came to drinking unlike himself (technically Orochi didn't know whether he was a light weight or not because he practiced self-control).

He knew for a fact that after every binge drinking spree the two _would come crawling back_ to him.

Looking for that nice soothing brew that would ease their bouts of light sensitivity and migraines. A nice healthy tonic that he never had the pleasure of needing. Also for food. Tsunade might of been the Medic-Nin for the team but she couldn't cook for shit.

Especially after the death of Nawaki... she was, what do you call it?

 _A hot, drunken mess._

So Orochimaru wasn't all that surprised when early one morning the two of them had barged into his rooms unannounced, tipsy and most importantly loud. Orochimaru hadn't seen them in three days, so it wasn't all that surprising that the two of them were so inebriated this early in the morning. It was unsightly for Nin such as themselves to be so visibly disabled but Orochimaru makes many exceptions just for them.

"Orochi!" Jiraiya's obnoxious voice thundered.

The two had stumbled in together, a jumble of limbs. Jiraiya was supporting Tsunade by the shoulder, but that didn't mean he wasn't as drunk as she was.

"Sake!" Tsunade's uncouth, drunken drone demanded.

"S'ats not right, 'suna~de'me. Ish'ts supposed to be daht hangover remed~ee," slurred Jiraya barely understandable. Suddenly being overcome with the need to be needy, he turned on Orochimaru and started tugging on the lapels of his robe ending in a, "Right, Orochi?"

He didn't seem to have noticed that in the process he had dropped a mumbling Tsunade like a hot potato, which had ended with her landing in a heap on the dirty ground.

Jiraiya and Tsunade were both moody as hell drunks, and today wasn't the exception to the rule. Today it seemed that Jiraiya and Tsunade were needlessly needy and childishly demanding respectively.

Jiraiya was way too close. Jiraiya's face was close enough to smell the alcohol on his breath and see the day's old stubble. His eyes rolled and I was met with the whites of his eyes. He practically foamed at the mouth before following our female teammate on the floor, but not before leaving a trail of slime on the front of my yukata.

"Food..." she moaned sulkily from the floor, rolling over.

"Now, now. You should drink something before you eat," I gently rebuked in my silky, rumble-ly and sexy voice. Maybe I could seduce the two of them into submission with it? Bend them to my will and then we could all go home..

But no, Seduction (nor manners) wasn't even in the top ten taught in the classes of Konoha Ninja Academy. I could distance myself emotionally on the field, torture, eviscerate and grind my enemies into not so figurative dust but I wasn't confident enough in my charms that I would consider opening that can of worms.

Maybe when I become Hokage (lol) I could change that? Maybe open the classes up to all ages so Jiraiya would finally be able to 'seduce' a woman and Tsunade would learn the rules of social etiquette and would finally act accordingly.

Which only made me chuckle softly at the prospect of Jiraiya succeeding in seducing anyone that wasn't paid to be. And smile fondly at the thought of Tsunade being anything but Tsunade.

The Senju O-hime-Sama of Konoha my pale, skinny ass.

The thought of the two of them using the _assets_ that they were blessed with... It painted a pretty picture that I found quite amusing. After all, I've had more women and men than the two of them combined and despite how Jiraiya acted and Tsunade griped I couldn't picture the two of them with anyone but each other really. Except for maybe... me?

Kukukukuku-

"You're being creepy again, Orochimaru." Tsunade had rolled over onto her back, and was looking at me with squinted eyes. But she quickly gave up and allowed her head to fall back.

"Oh, really?" I let slip my tongue, letting it hang out in _that_ way that I knew would creep her the hell out. "I couldn't tell."

"That's disgusting, Orochimaru." Tsunade made her voice all matter of fact way, so done.

 _Nawaki thought it was cool every time I showed it to him..._

- _Had_ thought-

Orochimaru wanted to joke about it with Tsunade and maybe mention Nawaki, but then stopped. It was probably too soon for Tsunade.

 _But if she dwelt on it. It would be her weakness. Make her vulnerable. And make her death all the sooner._

Especially in these times of war. You couldn't hesitate. It was something that Orochimaru was truly afraid of. That her weakness would cause her hesitance that would cost her like (mine) did for Nawaki.

That's why... Orochimaru was so harsh with Tsunade, because _it was a war_ after all.

After Nawaki's premature death there was always that thought, lurking at the corners of Orochimaru's mind.

That _his team_ , would die way before he did, because of their soft hearts. That the death of someone close to Tsunade would cause her own untimely death. Or that Jiraiya would die somewhere alone, on another one of his travels, another nameless Shinobi. Another faceless statistic.

 _Not even on the field for Konoha._

It was not something that Orochimaru thought of consciously, but as a silent insecurity. They were a team. People he had grown both as people and ninja together. He would always be there to keep them from killing themselves in the heat of battle, and they would always have his back. Sarutobi-Sensei would always be watching fondly...

That was what he thought of, as he surveyed his teammates huddling beneath him, drunk out of their minds.

Jiraiya was grumbling under his breath, and Tsunade was back to moaning prettily, her eyes once again blissfully closed.

"Settle down, now, children. I already have the kettle on." I said to a room that might as well have been empty. I also had some frozen leftovers on the back burners too, but they didn't need to know. It was for their own good (and mine) as the last time they had ravaged their sustenance frozen.

His two teammates were asleep and the stove top was working overtime but he had nothing to do while he waited.

That was when he noticed he had wandered to the foyer, and stopped in front of the package that had arrived earlier. He was about to open the curious box earlier when the two had arrived and interrupted him.

It was a large, non-descript box. The only thing strange about it were the air holes on the side of it.

Funny since I don't remember ordering any live specimens this time...

It was especially strange when he saw what was on the note that came with it:

 _I'm returning what's Yours._

How deliciously ominous. A kunai materialized from a sleeve, both as a precaution against any pleasant surprises and as a means to open the box.

Truly ingenious these multi-purpose knives...

Maybe one of my many enemies had sent me a piece of Sarutobi-Sensei to enjoy as a threat? But no, that old man was probably going to out live us all.

Shaking those morbid thoughts out of mind, I opened the last of it. Whatever I thought it was, hadn't prepared me for what I saw next.

Golden eyes in a familiar face, too young-

"Whazzat?" Darn it all! When had the two of them woken up and gotten behind me? Curse them and the years we've spent together. I've gotten soft around them...

I closed the cardboard top, nice and calm, turned gracefully and proceeded to make a fool of myself.

"A-ah, nothing! Nothing at all! At least nothing you need to worry yourselves about." I quickly reassured them, all together failing. My shock was all-encompassing, one, that caused years of training to fail me.

"Are you sure?" Jiraiya asked, eyes squinted and suddenly suspicious. "Then what's that?"

Oh, the shinto gods! If the two of them, especially Jiraiya had found out that I had a little accident- remembering the other head of lighter colored hair - or two, than he would never let me live it down.

How was it even possible? I had made sure to use contraceptives.

"A delivery." I said suddenly as smooth as silk.

"I can see that.." Tsunade's sass. "But what's up with those holes? Someone give you a puppy as a present?"

"Its another live! Specimen, of course."

"I don't know, Orochi, that does look like a different make (in boxes). You sure its not a trap?"

"There is a reason I'm holding this kunai, _Jiraiya_ ," the last word dripped with derision just as I started to deftly handle my kunai, twirling it in my hands. "And it's not just to do this," a slight of hand and I was handling the kunai with my tongue just as deftly.

"You didn't have to be such a bastard," Jiraiya's voice was indignant but he still turned intending to go to the kitchen. "And here a sealing master was offering you his skills (in diffusing bombs), hmmp." Even though Jiraiya was facing the other way Orochimaru knew that he would be pouting.

"If you want to offer me up something..." I muttered under my breath.

Oh, shit! Tsunade!

I pulled my eyes away from Jiraiya's receding form... only for my eyes to be met with the intense stare of Tsunade's golden brown eyes.

Did she hear that last bit?

I usually throw casual passes at my two dense teammates, but it usually goes right over their heads.

And usually I'm a little... less direct. She's peering at me pretty suspiciously, and although I don't particularly mind Tsunade hearing... but it would still be weird.

Orochimaru wanted everything to stay as it was. The perverted Jiraiya, the violent Tsunade and the aloof and slightly unsettling Orochimaru.

It wouldn't do if Tsunade suddenly added him to the list of who to beat the crap out of, along with Jiraiya.

 _(But really he enjoyed the fact that they were his moral compass.)_

Tsunade was the one constant in Orochimaru's life, the one that stood on equal when they were genin as Jiraiya spent years trying to catch up and _not be a burden_.

 _He knew her best._

And he wouldn't admit this but he considered her one of his trusted and precious people right next to Jiraiya.

Back on track though, Tsunade was staring at me with an intense concentration. And such an awkward moment passed that I considered making a crude comment about threesomes, but the moment passed... Since she started to slowly back away, her steps slowly getting more urgent.

For a moment I (was a little hurt) thought I had actually offered that threesome out loud, but then I came to a realization...

That look in her eye that I noticed was not suspicion. Instead it was the product of effort, she was trying to focus her eyes but was failing.

Tsunade had even been swaying on her feet. I was usually the master of using the weaknesses of my opponents, but maybe I was even more rattled than I thought?

...

And cue the sound of Tsunade being violently sick.

I strained my ears, and no this wasn't some sick kink.

"Jeez. Tsunade. You're even worse with alcohol than I am."

And there was _my cue_. I grabbed the box and casually (but stealthily) went to my room. Passing by Tsunade dry heaving and Jiraiya rubbing her back at the trash can in the kitchen.

I shut the door, lock it, and quickly walk to my bed to dump the box at the end of the bed.

And slowly, slowly, ever so slowly I open it again.

And damn it! They were still there, but now the two babes were asleep. There was that at least.

I used the time to observe them.

Although the both of them had their eyes closed. The one from earlier -the one with golden eyes- had spiky black hair, but the other one had wavy, hair the color.. of apricots. Both of them had a pale complexion like my own but in varying degrees. In all the two looked nothing alike. Were they really mine?

Maybe I should kill them? It would be a mercy...

In this moment of peaceful observation I noticed a note nestled in the grip of the blond.

It was crumpled and a little... wet but still legible.

 _I'm a little busy, so I thought it was a good time for the kids to meet their father. - P.S there's a picture of me to jog your memories tapped on the inside of the box._

That was it. I stared at the infuriatingly neat handwriting. Expecting something, anything _more_. But there wasn't anything more.

(Fuck this!) I wanted to crumple the paper up and throw it to the floor. But I was already past that. Now...

I was in denial.

But, true enough there was a picture of my supposed baby mama taped to the inside of the box.

The picture non-surprisingly didn't give me much.

The picture composed of three people: a _young woman,_ and our (alleged) two kids; one in each crook of her arms.

The mother of my two darling children (...) was of slim young woman with messy, short hair the color of apricots. I couldn't see much of her face though. She was smiling widely with her head ducked, but it wasn't demure. Reminded me a little of Jiraiya and Tsunade actually...

Her _hitai-ate_ (of course she was a kunoichi) which covered her eyes had four squiggly, diagonal lines, signifying that she hailed from Kiri, but it had a horizontal slash across it. So she was a nukenin.

A Nukenin from Kiri? That didn't tell me much of anything.

But the picture did jog some memories. Of one night, a while ago, with a deliciously handsome young man that had turned out to be a delightful young woman in the end.

Oh.

 _Oh._

Fuck. These two might be mine after all.

I don't even remember her name. I don't even know _their names_. _How did she_ even know where I was? Or who I was? I don't ever remember exchanging names, and we weren't wearing our hitai-ate when we had met...

Fuck it, I'm so screwed. I needed to get rid of them...Be rid of them.

Somewhere far away where they wouldn't be in the way, but somewhere close enough to check on them in the case that they have potential... Maybe I should employ the use of Konoha's orphanage?

I looked down at the two of them and felt... well, it wasn't paternal love. But I did notice something off about them. The abnormal amount of perspiration. The pallid tint to their already pale skin...

I did not believe it to be a simple childhood illness. I wasn't a medic-nin but...

Are these two... on something?

I pick the two up by the scruffs of their necks and bring them up to the light, as if to check the validity of documents. And they really do look sort of ill, and maybe in the stages of withdrawal for something used to keep them quiet. Tucked into the scruff of one of their clothes there was another note, this time neatly preserved and folded.

 _P.S.S Their names are 杏月 and_ 蜜 _月. Their names are pronounced as Kogetsu and Migetsu. But I've decided for their names to be read as Azuki and Mitsuki for various reasons. Its not all that hard to connect the dots, but I've decided to raise them outside of the Clan, so they wont learn any Clan techniques. Plus I think Azuki and Mitsuki are cute names._

She talks as if she'll still be raising them. Kogetsu and Migetsu, huh? I wonder which one is which. But then I notice that their clothes are labeled. The ginger is Kogetsu and the one that looks eerily like me is Migetsu, it seems.

Anyway although I applaud her on finding an efficient way in keeping two children quiet as she ran for her life (their lives) as a Nukenin. It raised a great many questions actually. _Were there ulterior motives about?_ Why did she even have them if she was _busy_? As a Nukenin she could have, if she chose to, given them up or aborted them.

It could be as easy as ingesting poison, really.

But since she did not, it also raised problems for me to solve.

I needed to get these two Konoha's Orphanage. But I couldn't just up and leave the mission or Tsunade and Jiraiya for that matter. They would become too curious... And I couldn't just simply call someone from Konoha to come and take them for me...It would take too much time, especially with two drug addled babies.

I needed to distract my teammates, get pass them, drop these two off and come back before anyone noti-

"Orochimaruuuuuuu!" _Fuck! It's Tsunade!_

Tsunade had barged into my room in self-righteous fury (i.e no manners). I had no warning, the handle hadn't even twisted in the lock since she had intended to fucking kick the door down from the start.

Orochimaru being the quick thinker that he was threw his newly acquired children into the closet behind him in the second that it took for Tsunade to stop screaming.

But today was just a bad day, so how does he cover this abnormal throwing motion?

With a flick of his wrist, of course. And no, he wasn't throwing shuriken at her.

"Orochi, the food is..." Jiraiya started over her shoulder.

With a flick of his wrist he had loosened the front of his Kimono shirt, released his pants from his waist but kept it up with a hand. Knowing that his teammates had just seen him undressed turned around and faced his closet, his knees suddenly went weak and he fell to the floor. Allowing his kimono to slip off one shoulder, Orochimaru looked at the two of them over his shoulder.

It might have been over the top but Orochimaru really, really wanted to distract his teammates and possibly get them out of his room, so...

His eyes were wet, his voice cracked. "How many times have I told you two to knock before you come in?" He pulled his shirt back up his shoulder, and leaned back onto his closet door (just as planned), so that it closed.

Orochimaru, who thought himself the master of manipulation, hadn't calculated how badly the alcohol had affected her and instead of feeling embarrassed and leaving something else entirely happened.

Because the next thing Orochimaru knows is that he's being manhandled by Tsunade. She grabs him by the lapels of his kimono and shakes him, yelling all the while.

"We're not kids anymore, OROCHI! Stop acting like this!" Her face was flushed as she was still processing the copious amounts of alcohol in her system.

It was enough to give Orochimaru a headache and warns him off of ever allowing Tsunade near small children.

"And let me look at you!" Tsunade boldly ripped open Orochimaru's yukata.

"Whoa." Jiraiya breathed.

Tsunade's eyes were unfocused, her breath unsteady. Her lips formed a sudden frown. With the way Tsunade's clothes were fussed, her flushed skin, the way she was looking down at Orochimaru...

It looked like Tsunade was about to have her way with him.

If Orochimaru wasn't a Shinobi he might have been a little more afraid for his virtue.

Instead he just laid there as she ran her hands up and down his pale and uncovered chest.

"Guys, I don't know what to feel about this," Jiraiya deadpans.

 _How about you join in? Orochimaru thinks._

I grabbed Tsunade's hands and pulled her in close to my chest and asked her, "Are you satisfied, yet?" Instead of blushing cutely or reacting _like at all_ , it looked more like she was about to nod off.

But suddenly her head snapped up and she said, "Did you hear something?"

At this though Jiraiya came to bodily break it up, and dragged Tsunade off of Orochimaru by the armpits.

"Jeez. Tsunade, are you still drunk?" can be heard from Jiraiya mouth as they leave.

But not before Orochimaru could here a mumble of, "...tiny heartbeats...closet..?"

Orochimaru really hopes that she doesn't remember this in the morning.

Before he can even get them past his teammates he needs to do something even more urgent.

He needs to go buy drugs for his children (to wean them off with).

Oh, and bottles, milk and diapers.

* * *

Author's note: My head cannon of how Tsunade was like before she met Dan. Not girly at all...

It totally matches with how how most of the female cast of Naruto are pretty violent and unfeminine except in front of the people they like.

And Orochimaru... Oh, Orochimaru.

And it might have been Tsunade leaving that might have triggered his evilness? Not Jiraiya like a lot of people think.

Also Orochimaru was not doing any creepy pedo interactions with Nawaki. O.O

Don't take any of Orochimaru's perverted thoughts too seriously, he isn't actually looking for a relationship with his teammates. And oddly enough I was trying to make it canon compatiable. As in he doesn't look like he's thinking lewd thoughts. When other people here him talking... they take him too seriously. Its just the way he holds himself and his soft way of speech. Its like... he definitely doesn't mean it that way!

I know that Orochimaru is going to have a son named Mitsuki in the future. He's still going to have a son named Mitsuki in the future. But in Orochimaru's head they'll be Ko and Migetsu.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

* * *

Time Skip of Indeterminable Passing

" _Jiraiya._ Am I seeing what I think I'm seeing?"

"Two babies living inside of Orochimaru's closet? Then, yes, Tsunade. Yes, it is."

"There are kids living inside of Orochimaru's closet." Tsunade stated without emotion.

"Ye-Yeah." Jiraiya was starting to regret showing Tsunade what he had found tucked away in the back of Orochimaru's closet.

At first, Jiraiya had wandered into the bastard's room because he was bored, but then he had the most brilliant of ideas. To look for Orochimaru's Porn Stash. Sure there was the possibility that Orochimaru didn't bring his along like Jiraiya had done but... Jiraiya just couldn't resist.

Jiraiya also remembered hoping that it wasn't anything creepy. Or had anything to do with snakes (read bestiality).

In the end Jiraiya had indeed learned a lot about Orochimaru. Just not in the way he had expected.

"There are two brats living inside of Orochimaru's closet, Jiraiya."

And now Jiraiya was starting to get a little worried. Was Tsunade broken? Repeating things like that. We were only in our twenties, so definitely wasn't senility.

"These two can't be older than 6 months old." Tsunade had picked the both of them up to scrutinize the kids closer. Looking at Tsunade holding up the poor kids by the scruff of their necks.

Jiraiya was struck by the sudden realization that Tsunade- no, that neither of his teammates should not be allowed near young children. Sure Tsunade had been sisterly towards Nawaki, but she never babysat him. With their large age difference and the fact that she was busy being Shinobi for most of her childhood; there simply wasn't time to spend with him outside training.

Hell, from what I knew _Orochimaru_ was the one that had gotten to know the kid more than even Tsunade did, since Nawaki had worked under his leadership. And to that Orochimaru wasn't even taking Nawaki's death as hard as Tsunade, but no, maybe that was why Orochimaru shouldn't be raising a kid either. Other than the fact that I couldn't just imagine Orochimaru being all motherly, or fatherly in his case. He just wasn't the type. Sure the two kids in front of me looked well cared for, but I could see that it was in meticulous manner. Was he treating the raising of his children as one of his experiments?

It wasn't like I had raised a child before but his other two teammates were just so ill-suited for the job. Jiraiya remembers all of their babysitting gigs as Genin, the two had not technically shirked on their duties per say but despite their best efforts and even when they were doing it right, they were doing it wrong. Tsunade and Orochimaru would always forget and hold their charges like cats (despite Tsunade's Senju basic medic-nin training).

And, oh the deities, when the three of them were put in charge of slightly older kids...

Tsunade had taught one to gamble _and_ cheat. The kid even won more than Tsunade did...

And Orochimaru. Oh, Orochimaru had somehow thought it appropriate to teach _a two year old_ how to throw Kunai, properly. _With perfect aim._

A disaster the two of them.

In the end the older kids would be put in the care of Jiraiya. _Every single time_. With the little ones, at least Jiraiya could acquire the help of Orochimaru and his tedious ass.

Brought out of his musings by Tsunade's voice, Jiraiya was ill prepared for what followed.

" _Jiraiya_. Orochimaru has kids in the back of his closet! When he gets back **I'm gonna kill that bastard!** "

"Now, now, Tsunade-Hime. I'm sure he has his reasons..." Wow. That sounded a lot worse out loud.

"You chose now of all times to take his side!?"

"I'm just saying that you might be..." Jiraiya knew it was the wrong thing to say the moment he thought it and regretted it the moment it left his lips. But like a lot of things Jiraiya does, he plowed right through anyway. Always the honest fool.

Jiraiya was once again afraid for his life, and again the reason was named Tsunade.

She looked like she wanted to ready another chakra laden punch, and again it's target was Jiraiya. Jiraiya felt like all the progress he's made so far had faded in an instant.

Jiraiya could practically hear her molars grinding. Her face was flushed but whether it was in anger or the after affects of the alcohol they had drunk last night, Jiraiya wasn't sure. Jiraiya saw her fists clenching...

Around the tufts of the babies' shirts.

"These two are _drugged_. They can't be any older than six months old!" Really!? She could have started with that...

And there it was. _Orochimaru had proven Jiraiya right just by being._ These two were definitely not fit to be parents. Right now though, he wasn't too sure which one was the worst of two evils.

It looked like she wanted to chuck the poor things at him. He wanted to take the babies gently out of her hands, but he was afraid for all of their lives right then so instead all he said was:

"Yeah, that's bad..." Insightful right? "But I don't know Tsunade, maybe we should wait until Orochimaru gets home before we judge him. I'm sure he has his reasons..."

Like hiding them from his teammates.

Jiraiya felt mildly upset. Although, he wouldn't admit it but he always thought that if his teammates ever got married than he would be the best man (or maybe the groom). And the godfather of their children. Of course he also thought that any marriage the either of them would have, would be short, and the possibility of joint custody slim. And afterwards Team Hiruzen would be there for each other, drinking all the way.

" ** _Jiraiya._** " There was _that tone_ again. The one that caused that irrational and exciting fear to course through him. The one that caused the hair on the back of his neck to stiffen.

Tsunade put the kids back onto the floor of _Orochimaru's_ closet, and closed in on him menacingly.

"There are drugged children living in the back of Orochimaru's closet. And they can't be any older than six months old! Do you not understand what I'm trying to say!" What I'm trying to understand is how these two young ones weren't awake yet.

I also think you're overreacting. Orochimaru just needed a tiny nudge in the right direction for raising kids that was all.

Probably. And if not than Shinobi were always given a little lee way in the way that they raised their children. And then he would need to make Tsunade Hokage, so that she could make godparents _legal_. As in legally binding.

"They can't be any older than six months old! Orochimaru!" Tsunade practically screamed in my ear. "That Creepy Bastard! I always thought he had been a little too friendly with Nawaki..." And there she goes, never could stop her when she started rambling-

Wait.

"What." Jiraiya was starting to think that they were definitely not on the same page.

"Tsunade! Are you accusing Orochimaru of being a pedophile!?"

"What else could it be, Jiraiya!" Tsunade screamed. I was a little surprised that I hadn't come to that conclusion first. But alas I still wanted to give our wayward teammate the benefit of the doubt."

"Gee, I don't know Tsunade. Maybe he's just a horrible father!"

"Oh. You're right." Wait, what? Tsunade had just done a 180. I couldn't believe she was being so agreeable.

"I'm totally in the _wrong_ , Jiraiya." ...Or maybe not.

"Did you really think that would make it all better?! Orochimaru's still a fucking horrible father! We need to fix this! We need to go find Orochimaru, right this instant."

Well, I was the one who said that from the very beginning.

"Fix this right now!? That's ridiculous! That's why I said to wait until he comes back. And then we could-"

"No! We need to go now! A full on fucking frontal assault on his ass. **Right fucking now.** "

"Okay. Okay, Tsunade but first. What do we do with the babes," I said while pointing at said babes.

I got a fucking taste of Tsunade's right hook for an answer and fucking flew onto the wall above the bed.

"What the fuck, Tsunade!"

"...Sorry, it was reflex."

"I wasn't fucking talking about those kind of babes, _Tsunade_. Get your priorities straight! We need to bring them with us since its not a good idea to leave kids this young alone. And for that we needed to bring babies supplies with us."

"...Supplies?" Tsunade said dumbly.

"Yes, Tsunade, supplies for when the babies get hungry or take a shit. The supplies that are fucking lining the walls of _Orochimaru's closet_. Get it together, _Tsunade_." This was all being said and done as I slid diapers, bottles and baby formula into the lining of my yukata. Tsunade was stunned for a second but then she too started stuffing baby supplies into her clothes, and Jiraiya almost lost his shit when he saw her stuff her bra. _Almost_.

In the end Jiraiya had ended up with two babies across his back, tied in makeshift slings. His clothes covered in lumps and bumps, full to the brim with baby stuff. A handkerchief was tied over his hair to keep his hair from messing with the babies, the knots covering his nose.

They were all but ready to leave Orochimaru's room. But then Tsunade knocked him over his head almost causing him to fall over.

"What the fuck, Jiraiya. You fucking look like a robber who suddenly jumped in the ranks of kidnappers! Get that shit off your face! You already look as seed as fuck!" Tsunade materialized a sake jug out of fucking nothing and took a fucking swig. "You don't need to go adding to it."

"Fuck! You're one to talk. You look like their shady, alcoholic mother! Can you stop drinking for a little while. Or can't you?"

"What did you say!?" Tsunade shook her fists at Jiraiya. "I'm drinking water like I'm supposed to after a little too much alcohol. Unlike a certain someone."

Tsunade ended it with a, "I'll make you eat your words!" and proceed to do so by giving him a black eye.

"Please, stop with the domestic abuse, Tsunade! I'm with child!"

"Ha! I'm not falling for that, Jiraiya! You're trying to make it sound like we're together, you little sneak. And don't talk as if you're pregnant!" Tsunade exclaimed and proceeded to give him two broken ribs, a sprained wrist, and a bruised hip. Jiraiya dodged it all, while keeping his two charges safe.

"Plus, it's not domestic violence if you can take it," Tsunade said with a smirk righter after she back handed him. As if the shit she just spewed was something to be proud of.

Jiraiya wanted to scream, 'This was why you'll never get a guy!' but he ceased and desisted if not for himself than for the children whose lives he feared for.

" **Tsunade** , are you listening to yourself? You sound like an _abuser_. I thought we were finally getting along," Jiraiya allowed himself to sound a little hurt. It had nothing to do with being hurt physically. Nope.

For a moment it looked like for all the world that Tsunade was going to explode. Instead she admitted that she was wrong. Sort of.

"...Fine. I'll heal you." Her hands glowed green. "You'll forgive me if I heal you...right?" Jiraiya was a little wary. Those weren't Chakra Scalpels were they? But allowed her near him anyway. Because he loved her. (Not that he realized the signs.)

The room was silent while Tsunade healed all of his injuries. The both of them pointedly ignoring the fact that Tsunade was the one to have given them in the first place.

Just when Jiraiya thought there would finally be peace and quiet...

"Give 'em back. I want to look at them again, Jiraiya..."

They were just at the foyer when Tsunade suddenly wanted to look at the two kids strapped to Jiraiya's back. She practically wrestled them out of his hands. And stared at them.

And stared.

And stared.

And stared.

"Don't they look a little like us, Jiraiya?"

"...A little bit."

With that suggestion a dam was broken.

"This one's black eyes." _Like you Jiraiya._

"And blond hair." _Like Tsunade-Hime._

"A face like a young Orochimaru, but..."

"Golden brown eyes that remind me a little of Nawaki."

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"...Let's say it at the same time."

"Let's."

"Orochimaru went through with his threats on cloning us."

"These kids are mine! But I don't remember getting pregnant!"

"What."

"What...?"

Jiraiya made a shrewd face, his eyes all a-squint.

"Are you still drunk, Tsunade?"

"...yeah." Tsunade looked a little guilty.

"Whatever, just hasten your metabolism and lets go."

"Wait. I want to hold one of them." Tsunade said suddenly sounding meek.

Jiraiya was left with the one with his eyes.

"Wait, we're going separate ways?" Jiraiya said to Tsunade's receding back.

She waved, not even turning around. "Well. We do have a whole town to look through. Splitting up is the best option."

"That's why I said to wait for Orochi," Jiraiya said to an empty hallway.

But he went on his search for Orochimaru anyway. Because why not?

And since Tsunade was Tsunade and Jiraiya was Jiraiya they both got a little distracted.

They should have stayed together where the other was each other's incentive to not get distracted as such.

And so this is the story where before even reaching the age of 1 years old:

Mitsuki and Azuki could be found in a gambling den and a Tea House (read red lights district) respectively.

* * *

Orochimaru

Orochimaru came home from grocery shopping and buying drugs all calm and collected. He took off his shoes smoothly.

Put away his groceries, gracefully.

Went into his room, locked the door.

He opened the closet door and was met with...

His children gone.

His first thought was that they had left his life: Suddenly.

It seemed likely after all their mother was a Kunoichi, capable of coming in undetected and unseen. But still...

She would have left a note wouldn't she?

Than Orochimaru's mind encroached dangerous waters: _His_ _children_ were at the mercy of _his teammates_.

It spelled disaster in Orochimaru's mind.

* * *

Okay that's it, the next chapter's will be in the perspective of my Self-insert OC, Mitsuki. I might continue from this timeline if I get enough reviews or enthusiasm for it. But not in the next few.

To sum up this chapter: Orochimaru's accused of being a pedo and Tsunade and Jiraiya try their hand at parenting.

Imagine what them being married would have been like. -_-'

Don't you get the feeling that Jiraiya felt guilt letting those kids from Ame die (or so he thought). So that's why he's so hesitant when Minato and Kushina make him their child's godfather. And why he didn't fight a little harder to have custody of Naruto. Jiraiya is less naive than Naruto when it comes to things that must be done.

In this point in time Tsunade is ill equipped for caring for anyone outside of medic nin purposes.

Are far as I know at least in America Godparents are not technically legal.

Let me clear it up. Azuki essentially has eyes like Jiraiya and blond hair similar to Tsunade. It has a bit of orange in it though.

Mitsuki is a young Orochimaru with eyes shaped like Nawaki's. And since it looks like Nawaki it can also be said that it also looks like Tsunade's eye shape. But Mitsuki's eyes are a golden brown like honey, essentially Orochimaru's eye color. His eyes are weird. Like are they yellow, golden, brown? It changes. This emphasis to Orochimaru is added to by the fact that the both of them are pale.

PS. I'm all up for any suggestions on how to read Mitsuki and Azuki's names. For one, one of them sounds the same as Orochimaru's son and the other sounds the same as red bean Azuki.

Miki and Aki don't really make sense and sound too short. Michiki and Anzuki sound really lame. Please help I can't read Japanese.

Azuki essentially has Jiraiya's skin color but paler, same with Mitsuki but its a paler Tsunade color.


	3. Chapter 3

Miki is a Kunoichi from Kirigakure where she was born, orphaned and raised to be a ruthless _tool for her village_.

Executing orders to the letter, hunting with a precision that had gotten her recognized by the higher ups in the village... _that_ had all been in her youth though.

Just when she had started to gain traction in her career and her life was finally going somewhere...

Well, the past was the past but the present was what really mattered. Now that she was retired with an old injury that prevented her from moving as she liked but predicted the diverse Land of Water weather for her; Miki didn't mind her current occupation all that much.

Being the matron of a government sanctioned orphanage right in the middle of Kiri wasn't all that bad. It had its good and bad, its ups and downs. It also helped that she ran the orphanage with an iron fist, and adopted a nice and strict (and emotionally distant) policy in raising the _future of Kiri_.

Miki knew since long ago that she wasn't ever going to hook up with anyone. It wasn't that she thought she wasn't pretty enough with her mousy hair and unassuming eyes. Nor did she believe herself to be undesirable in her prime andvquite the contrary she is satisfied in the way she looks. It was just a life decision to never marry that was all. And now at forty years old Miki thought it was definitely too late for having second thoughts, well, at least it was for her at least. So in her own way her role as the orphanage's director compensated as her biological clock.

A calling of a sorts.

Sure there were the bad days where doing nothing but looking at the faces of snot nosed brats did nothing but bring up... undesirable (and disturbing) memories.

But there were also those days when caring for young ones would make her feel more than that apathetic, dull ache that she normally feels. Instead it forces her poke at that dead thing in her chest most would call a heart and sometimes...

Sometimes the children manage to slip past the barrier she puts up and she allows it if only to make herself feel alive again.

And she appreciates it, this feeling. This opportunity to _feel_ again for which Kiri has given her while simultaneously having her gratitude.

After the mind numbing years spent serving Kiri and the Land of Water as a Kunoichi, the time she spends with the Wards of the State is precious. She applauds Kiri in knowing how to provide for its dependents; both in finding retired Shinobi a purpose and placing well adjusted veterans at key points.

 _All for the future of Kiri._

Miki approves of the state for breeding loyalty to the village. A way to keep retired Shinobi invested in the _village_ and future recruits tied to their _home_.

Running the orphanage was something even Miki found enjoyable.

She advocates loyalty to the village not only because she has seen the results of not being loyal (to anything) but also knows that it is not pretty.

After all she remembers her stint in the ranks of Hunter Nin.

Miki is grateful towards Kirigakure as it has helped her recall those days... In allowing her this opportunity in working with the future of Kiri has forced her to reminisce about her time with her parents.

This fact has kept her grounded after her retirement by giving her a focus, a way to stay tied in the present. And gives her something to do while her fellow Shinobi march to war. It keeps her mind off the fact that comrades young enough to be her children are out there dying in the Second Shinobi War while she does _nothing_ yet bringing in the next generation needs to be done.

(It keeps her up at night knowing that the children she now raises would most likely be in the next Shinobi War)

Miki's childhood was... nice which she counts herself lucky for because a fond childhood memory was rare for many in Kirigakure even before the bloody graduation exams began. It was only a year ago when the Mizukage had started enforcing the Bloody Mist moniker as if it was a means to a new policy reform.

She hadn't been an orphan as a child (at least initially) and there were those moments. Half buried memories stirred up by interactions with the miniature humans that force her to remember half learned concepts and formerly forgotten emotions.

It wasn't much and her parents were busy for the most of it but there were those rare moments that made her childhood _warm_.

Those sporadic and magical moments where her parents had taken the time out of their busy schedules to make their child's life worthwhile.

Either it was a family outing to go out and eat. Or it was a simple walk to the park where they would treat her to ice cream. Simple, but that was what had made it _sweet_.

And then there were those times when she was sick and her mother's serious facade would turn almost motherly which was always followed by her father's familiar smile and the fruit cups he was sure to have.

Right now though Miki was regretting her decision to take charge of some obscure orphanage, one of many in Kirigakure.

The day had started out just fine for Miki. Her hips had decided not to be too sadistic with her today and the sun could even be felt through the perpetual fog that Kirigakure was.

If the day had started out just fine than why was Miki in such a mood?

The answer to this lied at Miki's feet. Was Miki talking about her missing toes? Well, no, her lost toes actually _weren't_ up to their usual ghosting.

No, the problem literally lied at her feet peacefully asleep and no it wasn't the usual drunk she would need tochase off. Earlier when Miki had stepped out to buy late night groceries everything was fine and there wasn't anything marring her side of the sidewalk.

But then she came back and there was this little surprise waiting for her practically at the doorstep.

Since when she had left her there was definitely nothing as conspicuous as the wide, large and low cardboard box that sat underneath the lamppost in front of the house.

At a first glance it was nothing more than a box full of Kirin Nectar, the local specialty of the Land of Water but of course there was more to the life of a Kunoichi.

She almost wished the box was a trap full of exploding tags.

Miki could take it as a gift, or she could take it as the bribe that it truly was. The box of Apricot flavored Kirin Mitsu (her favorite) was a bribe, pure and simple. Since inside the large box nestled in between the bottles of heaven flavored honey were twin brats snoring away as if they weren't at fault for ruining her day.

That meant two more mouths to feed which meant two more kids she didn't need.

Miki was seriously contemplating the willful ignorance that most people in her line of work practiced. All she needed to do was keep on walking, and in the morning her problems would be solved.

And no one would even blame her.

Nor would anyone scold her.*

Nobody would even give it a second thought (except for maybe Miki herself).

No one would care if two brats that hadn't even been delivered by official channels disappeared. No, _precisely_ because the brats were off the record (not that Kiri was all into keeping records) than it would be no spilled milk to Kiri.

 _After all they had no one to miss them. To raise a fuss if they disappeared._

If two more mouths to feed meant endangering the other orphans she was already responsible for than... _Miki would be considered in the right_.

It could even be considered a duty to Kiri.

Strange how it was only years after her service that Miki found herself _doubting_.

Government sanctioned orphanages in Kiri were reserved for the children of those who had done a great service for Kiri, children that came from bloodlines that would benefit to the future of Kiri, or for children that fell in both categories.**

And Kiri had better things to do with their money than support children with no name especially in a time of war (not that they would in a time of peace).

These innocent Wards of the State were her priority not these random brats off the street. So why did she feel so (personally) invested?

It might have just been one of the increasing number of Miki's whims born of _years of growing soft_.

No, it was definitely a whim. Miki denied it being anything other than that.

It definitely was not because the blond had reminded Miki too much of her own child (from so long ago).

Nor was it the raven's weak and feverish cries that dusted away the cobwebs of her sympathy (and reminded Miki of her own blessed childhood).

Simple. Miki's decision to save the two was the product of her mind slowly growing senile. A whim allowed the universe to give these two no names a mercy.

There was nothing more than flimisical human nature in Miki's decision. Really more of an act of fate that had saved the two and allowed them to see another day.

On a note nestled in the crook of an arm there was a small piece of paper. As Miki stooped down to pick this note up one the babes were jostled and the raven sleepily looked up at Miki and her chest constricted.

The child's eyes were a dreadful golden color just like a reptile's.

There was nothing on the short letter but their date of birth. Which made Miki think the two were abnormally small for children already a year old and created doubt in regards of having Shinobi ancestry like how the rest of Kiri was comprised of.***

Not even a name could be found on either side of the letter, but still Miki was now responsible for blessing the twins with a name.

Names were important in Kiri. One did not even need to look at the Seven Swordsmen to realize that. Kirigakure was ruled by their caste system and these rules went doubly so for nameless orphans in the third caste.****

Names was a necessity in Kiri. To go places. To become someone.

If you were a nameless orphan than you could not even join the Ninja Academy without a Clan backing you up and allowing you the privlage of a last name. A name even allowed you the privilege to take your name and create a Clan (if you lived long enough).

Gaining a last name or having your current one changed opened doorways or signified that you were now worthy. The names of children were changed after a major event in their life as a rite of passage (at least in the third caste) or they could be given a new one based on a notable character trait. Like in Kirigakure's Seven Swordsmen.

Seven Swordsmen hopefuls were given a fruity last names or first name as a sign of solidarity. There were also the times when hopefuls came from produce themed Clans.

Nothing shined and sparkled quite like set names in the Bloody Mist.

After all the Seven Swordsmen was made to appease all three castes. Anyone who measured up to the strict abilities of the Seven Swordsmen was allowed to join. The only place where all three castes would mingle, and stood on equal ground.

It was simple the reasoning that Miki had in choosing their names. She took the kanji from the box that they were found in, for honey and apricots to create their names.

In certain lights those yellow eyes could be called a warm honey, and for this blond's shade of hair apricots was an accurate description.

But Miki felt that the names Mitsu and Anzu were a little lacking and wanted to add something more.

It was right than that a cool, night wind decided to blow down the street that Miki was on. The branches hiding the entrance to her small abode rustled,*****and the wind pulling at Miki's mousy locks also caused her to look up at the night sky. To stare at a moon that never felt so prominent than in that moment.******

Tsuki. What binds them. The moon will give rise to a bright future for the two.

Mitsuki and Azuki would do fine.

To pick up the crate Miki had sent Chakra to her hips and ignored the twinge of pain she felt in response. Miki thought it best for the crate to be searched in her room just in case there was anything of note to be found. Or a search of the crate would wake the babes and their cry would disturb the older kids.

Secure in her bedroom Miki set to cataloging the items found with the Tsuki twins.

Other than the earlier letter she thought lacking Miki had also found a white knitted scarf, a black sleeveless hoodie, a slug plushie, a ring and two pairs of fingerless gloves. The only thing of note was the ring which came with its own chain and was really just a snake eating its own tail.

Strange choice in a momento to give a child, but they weren't hers to begin with.

(But the moment Miki saw these two she couldn't deny this familiarity.)

And that was why from that day forward the children under Miki's care felt just a little bit warmer. The reason the orphanage under Miki's care became a little more like a family.

* * *

AN: * Evidence.

**(Both) - A great service+bloodline=a mission resulting in a child. Also bloodline doesn't necessarily mean a kekkei genkai.

*** My personal theory that children with Shinobi ancestry are extremely advanced. Look at Sasuke at one years old he told his big brother that his dream when he grew up was to be a policeman. Or why Gekko Hayate was as tall as five and eight year olds when he was two.

**** Nameless as in no last name.

***** Have you seen a picture of Kiri? It's like a high rise of a bunch of cylinder skyscrapers. The village is covered by low lying trees and foliage and there are no cleared paths in sight. There seem to be only a few short buildings and even then they're still cylinder in shape. There must be more smaller buildings hidden underneath the foliage. Also Kiri seems like a very self sufficient village with all of their aquaducts and roof gardens.

****** Miki I've decided will be a mother or grandmotherly figure to the twins. She is not their mother so how the two of them get the same names. Simple Miki is under a genjutsu. But Miki's a skilled Kunoichi... Well, Genjutsu was not her strong point even when she was younger and for two she is not expecting a genjustu. Mitsuki and Azuki's mom is hiding somewhere in the trees and waiting for an opportune time to cast a genjustu. Not only that but she had set up a environmental/object based trap genjutsu that... well, its basically subliminal messaging all around the box that she put her kids in.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

Edit: Shout out to any who can guess the names of the four OCs introduced. Wataru is easy but the other ones are all nicknames. Hint two of them are plant names but one is a body of water like Wataru is.

Add on to the AN at the bottom Azuki will be a Haku sort of character who will like trolling people on their gender.

"Wait up, Onii-chan!" Azuki was chasing after me again, her* steps loud in trying to catch up.

I inwardly cringe at her nickname for me but ignored it otherwise. "Come on, Azuki, you're too slow!" I peeked behind me as I ran to see how she was doing.

Azuki was a clumsy child and it also didn't help that her long, white scarf trailed after in an almost comical fashion. I found it _almost_ cute with tHe fact that the scarf covered most of her face and adds even more character to her ditzy self.

"Don't you want to explore with me?" Deeming the speed Azuki was going at too slow I grabbed her hand to pull her along. We were only four years old but Miki-San deemed us old enough to go outside.

Miki-San had packed us a bento and sent us off with a warning to not wander too far. And I took that as permission to go exploring in the village.

I already knew that I lived in a Hidden village somewhere in the Land of Water.

How could I not with the way Miki believed in early development?

She taught all of her children how to read and write early and with the two of us being the youngest kids under Miki-San's care, so she's really gung-ho about teachingg us _early_.

Azuki was a truly bright kid despite failing in a lot of normal day to day aspects of life. She learned to read before I did and she had practice in calligraphy when I was still struggling with hiragana. And when we were learning history... Their lessons might have held the same content but Azuki grasped concepts and the undertones of the lessons before I did.

Azuki was the true genius.

I was... I was just good at _remembering_.

The only thing I had over her was math and even there I got the feeling she would one day surpass me.

Still though Azuki was... the beacon? of my life.

She was what kept me _anchored_ when the memories of a past(?) life resurfaced. Azuki's adorable face and constant warm smiles were strangely healing to me.

Oh? Are we at the market place already? I've been here once or twice with Miki-San and a few of the older kids but it was always rushed. Now though I could take my time and look all I want and satisfy my curiosity.

Walking with Azuki's hand in mine, it strangely made my chest _warm_.

I felt like as long as there was Azuki I would do anything to keep us happy.

Mitsuki was gonna be the best Big Sister ever!**

Oooh, frozen yogurt!

But, man! Look at how much Ryo it costs.

Although I had some of my allowance in my pocket and it was probably enough for something silly like Baby's First Errand but it wasn't enough to buy ice cream...

And now that I know what to look for a lot of the dairy products are really, super popular but also really expensive too.

Even the price of plain milk and yogurt was kind of extensive. It really made me think twice about nagging Miki-San about buying milk and ice cream.

 _'Like this milk based Popsicle stick!'_

Is what I think when I see an adult go and buy three of 'em. I'm practically seething at this. Is that adult going to eat all three of 'me all by himself? Couldn't he share some with let's say... me!?

But then I see him walk to the end of the street and there's these two older kids waiting for him. The girl looks really grumpy and impatient to see him and it seems that he was late. But the younger one just looks happy to see him. They must be his kids.

The guy has such a derpy face on as he smiles and apologizes that it looks like the girl'll forgive him.

How nice. I wonder what's it like to have parents. I know I have Miki-San and she's really nice but sometimes she's really strict too.

Bet it would be really nice. With parents who are super cool and nice and they'll never be mean or strict or leave me and Azuki alone...

It feels like the shadows on the street have gotten longer even though the sky isn't actually any darker.

Before I dwell on it any deeper I feel my hand being squeezed.

I look down at my hand in Azuki's and it calms my swirling emotions. I look up to her face, and feel reassured when I see her chinky smile.

Although I can't see her eyes but for some reason they feel a little sad to me. Just a little though.

I smile back and can't help but be delighted that it was the right thing to do because Azuki feels happy and content like always again.

So instead of looking at the milk Popsicle which the sight of makes my eyes burn I point to the ones next to it. Pointing at the fruit flavored Popsicles, I say:

"Ne, Anzu how about we get these and head to the park next?"

"Mm-Kay Mitsuki-nii. Then I'll get the apricot flavored one!"

And I say, "One mango, and one apricot juice Popsicle, please!" As I take out the money to pay for them.

Ding ding! "Thank you for your purchase!" The kindly grandpa says.

Azuki smiles and says, "Bye bye," and the old man behind the counter is charmed and smiles too.

My mango juice Popsicle tastes really good and sweet so it's all good.

But, man... I really wanted one...

* * *

It isn't until ten minutes later and I'm finishing up the dredges of my ice Popsicle that I remember.

"Oh, yeah. Hey, Anzu." I said as I looked up and chewed on the Popsicle stick. Anzu was right next to me, still holding my hand.

"Yeah, Mitsu-Nii?"

"Anzu..Why do you keep calling me your Nii-San?"

"Hmm, but Mitsu-Nii is Mitsu-Nii. You aren't anybody else."

"You do know that I'm a girl... Right? I'm your _Onee_ -San."

"But Mitsu-Nii. Mitsu-Nii isn't girly at all!"

 _'...'_

"..."

That was true in a sense. With my short spikey hair and sharp looks I looked more like a boy than Anzu ever would in my opinion.*** Especially her shoulder length wavy hair the color of apricots and that round face and soft features. Anzu is asceticly appealing in a feminine tilt.

Still though... Does Azuki know the difference between girls and boys? Other than pretty things equals girls? I get the feeling that this was important, that maybe I should explain it. But it's too troublesome to explain though...

"Nevermind, Anzu! I see the entrance to the park! Let's go play!"

"Okay..." A curious pause. "Onii-San!"

* * *

"We don't wanna play with no babies!"

Choruses of "Yeah! Yeah!" raced through the crowd in the park.

At the park Anzu had decided to join some older kids in a game of kick the can. Too bad they didn't want us playing with the _big_ kids.

I wonder how they knew we were only four years old though? It wasn't like they were that much taller than us. I was never too good at guessing ages but weren't they only maybe six or seven?

I really wanted to say something biting or cool but nothing seemed to come out. So I glared at the ground despite myself.

I lifted my face up to tell Azuki that we could just play elsewhere but when I looked up I was met with Azuki's face on the verge of tears.

I sort of froze up at that but I still heard the next part.

"Come on Wataru you're going to make the kid cry." This came from a soft spoken boy with a large red mark marring his right eye.

"Whatever, Sen." The loud mouthed boy now dubbed Wataru crossed his arms and looked away after meeting Azuki's eyes. Both because he was red in the face and he was feeling more than a little guilty. Her crying face tended to do that. "I'm going to play over there. Whose coming with?"

Everyone just sort of... left. Even Sen the one that had stuck up for us left though looking a bit apologetic. Of course it was just to the other side of the park! but it still stung.

The area the older kids had claimed was a small clearing next to the playground set We were now alone in.

It was just the two of us swinging our feet half-heartedly on the swing set. Our hands were still clasped to one another so it was a litttle difficult to get a rythym going. After awhile though our swings occured in smooth tandem.

But still it was a little bit lonely despite the fact that we had each other.

I guess we were so used to being in our own world that it didn't occur to us that not everyone wanted to play with us.

* * *

We were eating lunch when an angel descended from the heavens.

"Ne, ne. Do you want to play with us?" A voice like a bell.

I looked up to see locks of silver hair and met clear golden eyes. She looked like a doll.

"What's this?" The second voice came from a person behind the doll-like person. The second person was another girl a bit taller but with short, black hair. She had an air of non-chalance and had walked up to us with her arms folded behind her head. Still though she had sharp eyes even though I couldn't see her eyes. Didn't even know what color they were.

She was a... what was it? A person with Kitsune eyes, eyes that were always closed. It really added to her laid back but cool nature.

Anzu turned and raised her hand to prevent herself from being heard. "Hey, isn't she cute?" And I couldn't help but nod my head in agreement. Suika _was_ pretty, so much that it was dazzling.

Now that I was thinking about it though weren't these two from the group earlier? I remember that they were some of the few who didn't jeer.

Holding hands, we came apart when Suika addressed us. "I'm Suika and this is Zuuchan. What are your names?"

"Azuki." "Mitsuki." We replied in tandem. "And it's nice to meet you!"

"Same here." Zuucchan answered automatically.

"Yes, it's nice to meet you too." Suika's smile could clear rainclouds.

Zuucchan turned to face Suika.

"I don't see why you have to clean up his messes for him, Suika," the raven crossed her arms, a slight frown tugging at her lips.

"Now, now. Zuucchan. Let's just play," Suika said with a smile and pulled an empty glass bottle out of seemingly _thin air_.

"I don't see where you even put that stuff! You don't even have any pockets..." Zuucchan? Looked a little exasperated at that last bit. I wonder if this exchange reoccurred quite a bit.

It certainly rang true. It didn't look like much could be kept in the modern, kimono-based shift Suika was wearing that was just long enough that it ended by her knees. She didn't look like she could fit anything in it's pockets if it even had any.

Hm? I hadn't even noticed when she had pulled out a short stick and a role of metalic looking wire.

"Oh, no..." Suika was patting down the legnth of her kimono clearly looking for something.

"Zuucchan, do you still have those shuriken we played ring toss with the other day?"

Zuucchan had begun to pat her own pockets, "Probably not. I don't keep everything on m..."

"Ah! I've found it." Zuucchan pulled something out that could only be called a ring and passed it to Suika.

It didn't look like any shuriken I've ever seen before not that I've seen many.

The shuriken was a dull metal with short spikes on the inner ring and blunt pokes all around the outer. It looked more like a painful piece of jewelry than any sort of weapon.

"Done!" Suika held out her handy work for all to see. It was just one end of the wire tied to the stick and the other end to the shuriken.

Without further fanfare though, we played a few games of pretend fishing. It was kind of random but also a lot of fun too.

There was a lot of loud jeering from Zuucchan and quiet cheering coming from Azuki. Really simple but the four of us really got into playing the game in no time at all.

"Um. I was wandering if we could play too?"

We all turned to see that Wataru kid from earlier. He seemed a little different though. His eyes kept on shifting away and The expression on his face was a little strange. He even had a nervous tic in the form of an itchy cheek.

It was like he was a totally different person.

"Everyone went home." Sen helpfully deadpanned.

Wataru elbowed him in the ribs, "Be quiet. _Sen_."

Sen rubbed his aching ribs looking for all the world like he wanted to say something but didn't say anything further.

His bashful face could inspire sunsets. Wataru's fidgeting only got worse when Suika _smiled_.

"Shouldn't you ask someone else though?" Suika was still the perfect picture of a smiling angel. I guess her smile was kind of menacing though. It was a little less laid back, her closed eyed smiles.

At that Wataru seemed a little confused, the dunce. Zuucchan smirked smugly and Azuki giggled. Suika... Suika looked _content_. She's an angel. A _fallen_ angel.

Sen though... Sen was busy bodily nudging Wataru to turn where Azuki and I were standing.

Wataru _blushed._

Although Wataru was now turned towards the both of us it was clear he was adressing Anzu.

I'm pretty sure she meant the both of us. _Rude_

Wataru was clearly embarrased, so much in fact that he talked a little funny. "Can I...I mean can we play with ya?" His face _burned_.

This was... It was entertaining. Was this even the same kid?

Azuki's smile was like the sun. "Yeah! Let's play!"

And then Wataru was _gone_. Zuu and Sen soon followed running after the unintentional leader of his group of friends. They were just running, but I wasn't paying attention and they were just so _fast_. They weren't even that far away, but I was startled out of my own head. When did they decide to play tag? Did I miss something?

I had taken a few unconscious steps forward watching them run, but remembering Azuki I turned around.

Suika was ruffling Azuki's apricot colored hair affectionately.

I wasn't too far away that I couldn't hear Suika and Azuki's conversion.

"You're a sweet kid. Azuki-chan." She smiled and Azuki returned it in kind.

Huh. I guess I didn't have to worry about Azuki after all.

After that we played together for hours.

* * *

"Hey I see my Dad. Bye, everyone!" Zuu was the first one to leave. At the sight of her dad Zuucchan had shown a genuine and happy _smile_. It was strange seeing anything other than a smirk on her face that it almost startled me. Her face had lit up and for a second I even thought Zuucchan would open her eyes with the way she was smiling. But the color of her eyes will be safe until another day.

"Bye, bye. Okaa-Sama came to pick me." Suika smiled her best smile yet. "But let's play again sometime soon!" And she was gone just like that.

"Ah, I see Nii-San." Sen smiled with something other than exasperation for the first time that day. It was warm. For some reason when he looked back at us though Sen looked like he wanted to say something or like maybe he was sad. I wouldn't know why he would look sad for so maybe I was wrong. "See you guys soon!"

The park was deserted except for the three of us. Wataru, Anzu and I was just hanging out by the swings. Most of the energy we had earlier in the day spent.

But then Wataru looked up at the entrance to the park and saw his mom.

He looked back to us to say goodbye. He opened his mouth to be rude instead.

"It's getting late shouldn't you guys be going home?" He squinted at us suspiciously. "You guys do know how to get home right? You don't do you? Haha. I knew you guys were _babies_."

...

Of course I vehemently denied it.

...

And then it was just the two of us.

It _was_ starting to get dark out so maybe we should go home now?

* * *

"Mitsu-Nii~ Are we lost?" Anzu sang.

I stopped in the middle of the Woodsy street. Our hands unclasped as Anzu turned around to face me. The sun was behind me so sunlight fell on her face.

"Hehe. Yeah." I ran my fingers through my short hair and gave her a toothy grin.

We were so lost that it wasn't even funny. Everything looked like the same forest trail that we used earlier.

"Hmm." Anzu brought a finger to her lips as she spun around in a circle. Her usually sleepy eyes taking in all the streets that we could possibly go down.

"Come on," she grabbed my hand. "This way!"

"How do you know where we are?" I asked as we ran but this time she was the one pulling me along.

"I don't!" Her laugh danced on the wind behind us.

 _This kid..._

"But let's just call it a hunch!"

She looked like she was having fun in contrast to this morning. Azuki was all care free smiles pulling me along like this.

* * *

It took a little backtracking but eventually we soon found ourselves back on familiar streets. I guess Azuki knew where she was going after all.

"Do you think it was a birthmark or a burn on Sen's face, Anzu?"

"Anzu?" I turned around. And around. And around. When did she let go of my hand? Where was she?

Something low to the ground ran by me so fast all I saw was a black and white streak. I couldn't tell what kind of animal it was and that freaked me out a little. I hope it wasn't a wild dog. Those were scary. Or a giant rat. Those were _freaky_.

"Owie..." I whipped my head around to the sound of her voice only to see her come out from behind some lose boards leaning against a brick fence. _Dangerous_.

As I ran up to her I saw that she was rubbing her head, it looked like she might have bumped her head.

I checked her over for bumps, lumps or scratches on her head. There were none but what looked like a cat scratch on her left hand.

Azuki saw me and had the nerve to smile. This cheeky brat.

"Oh, hi, Onii-chan. Can I borrow your handkerchief?"

"What happened to yours, Azuki?"

"I don't have it on me anymore." Anymore? That told me absolutely nothing.

The cheeky brat. I still gave her my handkerchief though.

"You need to stop doing these kind of things." I tried my best at looking stern and disapproving.

"But," Azuki pouted, "the kitty cat was hurt."

"What would you do if it had rabies?"

"He doesn't have rabies! Probably."

"Probably?"

"I mean if there was a rabies outbreak than wouldn't we hear about it? We do live in a close-knit community after all."

I stared. My mouth was probably gaping and I stared. Azuki was usually really clumsy and like me spent a lot of time in her own world just differently. That plus the fact that she liked it when I babied and doted on her clumsy self I sometimes forgot that she was smart. Like really smart.

"Wh-what?" Azuki suddenly became embarrassed under my stare. "These kind of things are usually assigned as a D or C Rank mission. It's one of the benefits of living in a Hidden Village... Right?"

Yeah really, really smart. With potential for politics? Azuki could probably become a doctor or politician when she grew up. Or anything she wanted really.

There was a beat of silence where we just stared at each other lost in thought.

"Oh, and Onii-Chan."

"Hmm?"

"Can you help me tie it? I only have one hand..."

"...Sorry."

"It's okay, Mitsu-Nii."

...

"And there! All better."

"Haha. You're so bad at this Onii-Chan."

Yeah... I don't know how I mangled up a single bandage so much either.

"Hey look." Anzu pointed. I looked. "It's Shiro!"

I looked... and the cat wasn't even white. It was all black not a speck of white on its fur except for Azuki's white handkerchief on one fits front legs.

It was a feral looking thing. It was even missing an eye. Not cute at all.

"Why did you name it that? It's not even white..."

"Because I find it cute and funny."

I pulled a face. My 'I'm so done' face that I knew made my eyes disappear in exasperation.

"But Shiro though.. It's not a dog you know. Why not fluffy or something?"

It certainly had the fluff for it. The black fur could be described as a messy scruff.

Azuki's eyes widened in innocent surprise. "He's not!? I could have swore Shiro had said 'Wan' earlier!"

 _'...'_

Azuki called him a kitty cat earlier hadn't she?

The next thing I knew Azuki was kneeling next to the unruly thing.

"Hey! Azuki get away from that thing! It's going to scratch you again..."

"You're being silly! Shiro just wants to give me a Thank You present. See?"

She held up a dead rat by the tail.

My 'I'm so done' face was back.

"What are we even going to do with that?" I'm not even going to bother with the germs. At least she was holding it with the hand without the scratch.

Azuki held a finger up to her lips in her thinking face. "Maybe we could give it to Mudou?"

Mudo was a fellow kid at Miki's place, who kept a pet anaconda. He was a weirdo but perfect for this kind of thing.

"Sure. Now let's just go home."

* * *

AN:For now I'll keep Azuki will be a non binary character. Mitsuki is biologically and mentally female Azuki is just a troll.

Review? Should I continue? Later on there will be a vote on Azuki's gender.


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